daisyPath Anniversary

Friday, April 22, 2005

Well, it's happened. According to the GAL, C1 (age 5) is lying, likely at her mother's coaching. She claims they sleep on the floor in the hall when they are here. Now it's possible that she meant the Ks sleep on the floor, and it was misconstrued, as that is the truth. However, I'm more inclined to believe that she was coached to lie about it. The fact is, my girls curl up in sleeping bags, thinking it's a grand adventure to sleep on the floor in our 7' x 9' hallway (yeah, more like a room, but the rooms all open off of it). C1 gets the top bunk, and C2, age 3, gets the bottom. This since the last court date when we were told they cannot sleep together. Gee, my kids sleep together all the time, what's the big deal? After all, they're all girls. Just another way for C's ex to stick it to him.

Speaking of which, I'm still living nicely off of being able to stick it to HER by denying her the tax refund that she would have gotten for back child support. She's still complaining about the car and house payment, but I don't care. Besides, her husband is overseas, so I know they don't have to worry about their house payment anyway. She must think I'm incredibly stupid. Little does she know, eh?

Anyway, we've almost done with the attic, so we'll be officially a three bedroom home, with adequate beds for each child. The GAL is coming to re-inspect the place, but we're so not worried about it anymore. We go to court on May 27, and fully expect not to have any further problems re: sleeping arrangements. C is going to make a bed for K1, as she'll be the attic occupant. She's so excited! This way the Ks get their own rooms, and we'll have separate beds for everyone. Now if they get up and change beds after we put them down for the night, well, what can we do about that? I'm not going to move them once they're asleep! What's funny is that the Ks still request to sleep on the floor! LOL

C and I are so excited to think that we may have the Cs living with us for several weeks this summer, and we can actually take a vacation with them, too! Maybe we can undo some of the damage they're getting with their mother. Like lying. And you should see the attitude of the 3yo - goodness! It's so obvious that she's telling the truth when she says she isn't allowed to talk to me. How is that in the best interest of a child, to tell a 3yo not to talk to her step-mother? This woman claims to love her kids, too. Go figure.

More good news - K2 has had 6 mornings of waking up dry! We're still unsure as to what caused her to revert to bed-wetting after a year of being dry, but now, over a year later, she is dry once again. With any luck, this is it, and she'll be dry forevermore.

K2's kindergarten registration was today. She passed everything, which I expected, but I did not - I forgot her immunization records! LOL Thanks to partnering preschools, she'll be able to attend school daily, despite our school's every other day kindy classes. On opposite days, she'll go to a kindy-oriented program at a partnering preschool. They'll reiterate what was learned in class the previous day, so the kids get daily practice, which is great! The kindy teachers talked about the differences they see with kids who do attend the partnership classes, and those who do not. Besides, I'd think it'd be easier on the child to go daily, keep in routine, ya know? I know it's easier for me, and it was easier for K1.

Still no luck on finding a house, though the one in Niles may come through any day. I figure now that we've spent the money on the attic, it'll happen, right? LOL It's huge, a 3 bedroom, 2 living room, 1 1/2 kitchen house. Yup, they added on, LOL. The only thing I don't like is that the add-on doesn't have piped heat, just a fireplace. Everything in the house smelled of smoke - yuck. I don't mind a campfire now and then, but for my clothing to smell of it daily - no, thank you.

Friday, April 15, 2005

We have a court date!!!! May 27 @ 1:30 p.m. we go to court with the guardian ad litem, to determine if C gets standard visitation. Our main goal here is that we have vacation time with the C-girls, which currently is not in effect in any way, shape or form. I'm so excited! And now I have a deadline for getting the attic done, too. We want the GAL to get out here and see our third bedroom, with its two twin beds, before we go to court. Since his main argument is that we don't have enough beds, and this will enable five children to sleep here, it should stop his argument cold.

So, now to get the attic bedroom DONE! We've got all the blown-in cellulose to get out of there, then I can buckle down and do MY part - the drywalling, electric re-routing, painting and decorating. Oh, and K1 said she'll "let" K2 help paint. Wanna bet, sugar? LOL

I'm glad to have a deadline for myself, and beautiful weather outside to keep me "up". I'll shut up before I start babbling! LOL Suffice it to say that between getting a court date, being alone for the afternoon (no kids, no husband), and it being beautiful outside, I'm in a much better mood than the past few weeks.

Oh, and I got to stick it to C's ex a week or so ago. She kept going on about this tax refund that was supposed to go towards back child support. I had every intention of letting it, but she refused to sign a form that C needed for his taxes, so we decided to heck with her, I'd file "injured spouse" to get back my portion of our refund that was sent to the child support enforcement agency for her. Does that make sense? Anyway, she called AGAIN (almost daily - what a pain, no wonder people don't like her), and this time C handed me the phone. I told her that I had no intention of letting her have money that was rightfully mine, that I'd already filed my injured spouse claim. She complained that it would take 6 months (I know, they told me, hehe) to get her money, and she has a house payment, car payment, blah blah. I told her that she shouldn't have bought a brand new 2005 minivan if money was a problem. She said she had no choice as her car'd broke down - umm, we know you wrecked it, do you think we're that stupid? - but I reiterated that there was no need to buy a 2005 vehicle. Jeez, get a used one, dork! Besides, with a husband in Iraq, the government is covering your housing costs, so don't complain to me. I did manage to rub it in that I loved not having house and car payments.

Man, did that conversation feel good! 'Bout time I got to say something to HER for a change! Thank you, God, for that.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

I suppose I should have read my other posts first, so I could update THOSE, eh? Well, we didn't get the financing on the house for which our offer had been accepted, so that fizzled quickly. We had a lead on another house, 3BR, potentially 4BR, which needs lots of work, but it seems to have fizzled, as well. They wanted us to rent for a year, then finance, which is fine, except that they wanted too much down, and too much per month. Mom says she'll talk to her friend, who owns the house, but I say if the guy can sell it, go for it. I don't particularly want the place, myself.

Previous comments have requested good news, so let me think a minute. C walked away from his car accident, which he shouldn't have - that's definitely good news! Pictures of his truck are here: www.creationsbycc.com/truck.htm. Thank God he believes in seatbelts, that's all I have to say.

More positive - I think we're going to see family in Florida in June, after K-girls get out of school for the year. I'm living on these hopes, as I miss them so much, even though I just saw them in December. But I used to live there, so I miss the area, as well as the people. It'll be C's first time in Florida, so we have a lot to show him. K1's father is there, as well, and K2 has "adopted" K1's brother as her own, so I imagine C and I will have some alone time while the girls stay overnight at K1's father's home. Her father has already said it's ok to take both girls, and I have no problem with K2 going over there, even though there is absolutely no blood relation there.

I'm lucky that my ex and I can get along so well, but then, it's only a week per year, so why not? We get along on the phone, too, the rest of the year... so I guess I should consider myself pretty lucky. Especially considering all the crap we go through with C's ex here. I can't help but pray that God will see us through this, and that someday, we'll all be able to get along as well as K1's father and I (and our respective spouses) do.

I finally found a way to get a little back at her, though. See, the divorce decree allows C to claim the C-girls as dependents, but his ex must sign a form each year "allowing" it. This year, she said she wouldn't do it, despite what the divorce decree says. Well, with him owing back child support, the IRS took our joint return refund. Since it was joint, the child support enforcement agency will not release the funds to C's ex until I sign off on it. So until C's ex signs the form we need, I'm not signing, which means she doesn't get the money she claims to so desperately need. After all, until I get the form she needs to sign, she can't get her money anyway, whether I sign or not. My plan is to sign, naturally, to help diminish the debt C owes, and to help his girls, but it feels so very good to be able to finally have an upper hand over SOMETHING this witch does to us and those poor babies she says she loves so much.

And it does feel so good!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

If you're reading this, you'll be a bit out of my brain loop, but bear with me. Two years ago, two tumors/masses were discovered in my thyroid. That's all the background ya get! LOL

I had a dye scan a couple of weeks ago, and there were no cold or hot nodules - that's a good thing. I'm on a thyroid drug - Armour Thyroid - which may or may not shrink the masses. However, I can't get in to the oncologist until the end of May.

So, did I cheat cancer of the colon, just to get cancer in my thyroid? I don't think so, but it's a thought that won't go away. In the meantime, I go back for another colon surgery in April. It just doesn't end. So many people say that when I talk about it, I'm very positive, even laughing about it, and they wonder how I can be so upbeat and almost blase about it. Don't I kind of have to be?? I mean, my children are 9 and 5, my husband and I have been married only since July, and darnit, we haven't had a honeymoon yet! I will see my girls happily married, and I will meet my grandchildren. So there.

Now... spring... when will you be here? I'm dying to get my hands in the dirt, but not knowing where we'll be living, it's so darned hard! I've got seeds for lupines, bachelor's buttons, daisies, wildflower and cut flower mixes, not to mention all my bulbs. It's getting to be too late to start my peppers and tomatoes indoors, but where would I transplant them? I hate the thought that I won't have a food garden this year, but it may just be that way *sigh*. Damn mil. Why does she have to be such a witch about all of this?

Speaking of witches... no, I won't get into my husband's ex-wife's latest shenanigans, I was thinking of my only girl kitty, Ali. She's getting de-babified this morning, and I can't wait to pick her up tonight and cuddle her poor sore body to me. I wonder if it will curtail her trash-digging habit for a day or two? If she'd just quit doing that, she'd be allowed to stay indoors while we're not home. My poor baby kitty, she's gonna be hurting today.

Maybe I'll take my K2 to the Y today. She deserves it, and I need the exercise.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

I'm told I need to update my blog, so here goes.

We went to court on Friday, but again... nothing was accomplished. The magistrate was too busy talking about his own personal problems, and did nothing more than say that the GAL was to continue his investigation. Fortunately, the GAL took advantage of both parents (C and the ex) being there, and pulled them both into a room to talk with them together.

The results included the "fact" that we keep dirty clothes on the kids all weekend, and that's why they get urinary tract infections. We bath them together, which is unacceptable to the ex. They sleep together, which is unacceptable to the GAL and the ex. He said they need their own bedroom and own beds. Ummm, ok, so we have to buy a new house now. Not that we aren't trying to do that, but that'll be brought up in a minute. Let's see, our house is "always" dirty and cluttered and an "unacceptable environment" for the children. C's question was how could she know, she's been in our home exactly one time - ever. And the next time she tries stepping foot in my home, I'm prepared with a restraining order. :)

So we've been looking at houses for months, and had an offer accepted on one just last week. It's contingent upon financing, so we don't know if we've got it yet. However, it's an 1800 square foot, 3-BR (potentially 4-BR) century home, nice and solid. I'm not holding my breath on the financing, though.

So if we don't get a 3-BR place, we don't get standard visitation, because we don't have adequate space for four children for 6 weeks in the summer. How much more bullcrap do we need to hear from this moron? Of course, I guess C and I could sleep in the living room for 6 weeks, while the Ks get our room, then each of the Cs would have a bed in the kids' room. Or maybe we should just sleep in the RV? What a crock of crap.

Anyway, that's our update. Nothing has changed. Nothing will.

Au revoir!

Friday, December 24, 2004

This is such a horrible time of year for Christmas lovers. Too much hype followed by a huge letdown within hours of Christmas morning! I spent most of yesterday in tears, and I do hope it's only due to the holidays.

However, I know a portion of it is due to a major crackup I had yesterday, too - aside from online, I have no friends. How awful is that? I read the other day, just on the cover of a magazine, mind you, that one big secret to a happy marriage is a woman's girlfriends. Now doesn't that make sense? It sure does to me. Think about it: if you live every minute of every day for your husband and your kids, with zero time for YOU, where does that leave you?

Well, it leaves me pretty darned down in the dumps!

I've thought about this time and time again, and no matter how often I say I'm going to the Y to work out, for some "my time", it just isn't the same as having a friend. Literally, I have no one with whom I can call to get together for lunch. And what stinks is knowing that "Mom" (grandmother of my first child, but whose son and I never were married) would have lunch with me anytime I called her - but she lives in FL, 1000 miles away. Phooey.

It helps for me to have projects, I know that much. I recently completed the design and painting for another window. It just needs a backboard and some legs, and it'll be my first coffee table. Too late for the season, but that means that we can use it first for a few months ;-) So back to projects helping my psyche, though, at least at Mom and Dad's (in FL) I have projects. There's always something to do. And Mom loves landscaping and flowers as much as I do, so we do that together when I'm there to visit. It's just too long between visits, darnit.

To top it all off, we're trying to purchase our first house, and without me working full-time outside the home, it isn't going to happen. Job-finding here is just about nil, too, which doesn't help at all. I'm looking, and I'm looking, and I'm looking... just not finding, or getting my resumes answered when I do send them. So there goes any mommy-turned-adult time, too. I have the world's best Mr. Mom, and I can't even take advantage of him! LOL

Anyway, with jobs in such short supply, I think more and more often that I should go back to school. But for what? And HOW?? My looks sure won't pay for it. Financial aid seems to be available only for Associate and Bachelor's Degrees, or 9-month computer tech or medical asst. courses. I'd make the world's worst MA (I hate needles), and being tied to a computer for 8-12 hours per day would drive me (and my eyes!) batty. So perhaps I should check the local university, rather than the career center? Somehow I don't see me lugging 30 books about a campus larger than my hometown, ya know? I don't have the stamina or the want-to to do any of that. And what would be the point of wasting the money on something I know in my heart I'd not want to do, and therefore would not?

Short courses are the only option for someone who needs a career NOW, I'm afraid. But then there's how to pay. Any ideas? Yeah, I'm fresh out, too.

So, let's see. No friends, no job, no house (did I tell you we're being evicted by my husband's mother? she wants to live here or rent it out - nice lady, eh?). I'm the only one who knows how to do dishes, laundry, or pick up after "themselves", who are too busy with THEIR friends to notice mommy's tears.

Guess I'll go escape into a book. Have a wonderful holiday, everyone.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

I don't remember the last time I wrote, and didn't bother to look, so maybe I'm duplicating something, I don't know. And frankly, I don't care, either.

C's girls are here for half of today's holiday. Naturally, as usual, they showed up in the same clothing that is always on them when he picks them up. I have never hated the NC Panthers so much, and all because I see that sweatsuit three times a week. And pink is fast becoming a much-hated color of mine, as well. Fortunately, we're well-equipped for little girls, and they get changed into more appropriate clothing - that FITS, mind you - as soon as they arrive. Yep, the clothing they wear when they come here does not fit. I've taken pictures, though, to show the girls' GAL. It's nice to finally have someone who cares about pictures. Wait till he sees how inappropriately the children are dressed when they come here, and the CONDITION they're in physically when they are picked up - good God!

What really gets me is how often these girls are sick. We've picked up copies of hospital records from their births on, all ER records, of course, as their mother takes them there, rather than whatever physician/ped she happens to be using at the time. See, we wouldn't know who their ped is, because although the DD states that she is to let C know, she doesn't, and switches as soon as he DOES discover who it is. Yeah, she really cares about those kids.

So anyway, we have all these record copies now, and it absolutely astonishes me that most often the girls are dx'd with nothing more than a cold that must run it's course. Nearly every time they're there, a dr tells her to give them OTC meds, nothing more. Amazing. Oh, but she's told the girls' GAL that US dressing them inappropriately for the weather is what makes them sick all the time. Thank goodness C had the brains to point out that if that were the case, then the two who live here full-time would be sick, as well. The GAL had no comeback to that one - imagine that.

Oh, did you know that we take the children back "covered in mud" every time we have them? Yes, we find mud during the driest days, and our carseats are just mudpits due to the amount of mud the children have on them every day. C suggested the GAL check said carseats to see that they have not been washed recently, and it's obvious there's been no mud on them. The GAL declined - I think he was beginning to see the pattern of lies that S weaves. I can't wait till we're all in court and she gets busted for it, too.

Amazingly enough, I still pity this woman. She is so incredibly selfish that she is pushing away her own children, and one day, they won't want a thing to do with her. I'm so glad that C and I will be there to comfort the girls when they realize what a manipulative and selfish person their mother really is. Why, I don't know, but I continue to pray for her. I hope God can still help her.

So the motion C filed back in the spring, for standard visitation, still has not been "heard" in court. S is on her fourth attorney (though the move from her third one was not her fault, the atty was appointed judge; but hey, S would have moved on from her when that one figured out the lies, just like the others). C's atty did point out to the magistrate how many times she's changed attys, and that she files the same motions each time, and that the previous GAL withdrew because he'd already rendered an opinion on the previous same motions. I'm not sure why, but every time she files a new motion - agian, for the same as the previous one - that is what's focused on in court, not the motions filed before that. I'm so glad we have the atty we do, as he's about to put a permanent stop to that.

And, thanks to a friend's advice, we found out that we can involve children's services now! I can't wait!!

Until later, have a wonderful holiday, everyone!!

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